SINGAPORE – When Jane’s (not her real name) former husband picked up her six-year-old son at her home in May 2024, she had little reason to believe the weekend visit would be any different from the past.

Although the divorce was acrimonious, they stayed civil for their son’s sake. They have only one child.

Jane, 35, was awarded care and control of their son, according to court documents The Straits Times saw.

The arrangement, since their divorce in 2021, was for her former husband to spend time with their son on the weekends, with Jane caring for him after his return on Sunday evening through to the next Saturday afternoon.

But that visit in May 2024 was different. Some time after he picked their son up, her former husband took him into Malaysia.

Although the court order was for her to have custody of the boy’s passport, Jane said her former spouse, a Singaporean, never gave it up.

She has not seen both of them since.

Said Jane, who is not being named to protect the identity of her child: “This had been the routine all along for weekend visits. I did not think it would be any different or that it would be the last time I would see my son.”

The marketing executive, who was originally from a foreign country but is now a naturalised Singaporean, has spent the last 11 months, and thousands of dollars, navigating a legal maze to be reunited with her son.

One complication is The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction – an international treaty to protect children who have been removed from their country of habitual residence without the permission of the parent who has custody rights.

Singapore is a signatory, and has been since 2010, but Malaysia is not.

The Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), which is the designate Singapore Central Authority (SCA) that handles cases under The Hague Convention, told ST that parents seeking their missing children, especially in non-Hague Convention countries, may face a range of challenges which include “jurisdictional and legal hurdles”.

It means parents have to navigate different legal systems with varying definitions and procedures regarding parental rights and child custody. This can lead to conflicts and delays in legal proceedings.

The ministry added that without The Hague Convention’s standardised procedures, there is no streamlined process for international cooperation.

Said an MSF spokesman: “This can make it much harder to obtain legal assistance or enforce custody orders across borders.”  

The SCA facilitates applications for the return of children who have been taken to or from Singapore without permission of the parent who has custody rights.

Figures from the ministry showed that between 2019 and 2024, the SCA handled 22 cases where a child was taken from Singapore to a signatory nation.

It has also handled 21 incoming cases where a child has been brought to Singapore from a signatory nation.

“These children were taken to or from countries such as the United Kingdom, Australia, and Japan in these cases,” said a spokesman.

Feuding parents

Lawyer Lim Fung Peen, who specialises in contentious divorces and complex family matters, said many abduction cases by family members are not reported.

He said it depends whether feuding parents are fighting over their children’s custody.

Said Mr Lim, who in 2023 published a book titled Family Matters: A Legal Guide To Marriage, Children And Personal Protection: “Some parents may not have the financial resources to seek legal help or hire private investigators.”

He said the legal bill can run into the tens of thousands.

After an abduction, Mr Lim said parents can make a Hague Convention application.

The application can seek the prompt return of the child who has been wrongfully removed from Singapore; or make arrangements for securing the effective exercise of rights of access to the child.

But as Mr Lim noted, not all countries are signatories to the Convention.

In such cases, the parent with custodial rights has to go to the courts in the country where they believe their child is located and obtain court orders for their return.

Family lawyer Yoon Min Joo said that some parents are hamstrung by former spouses who go into hiding and remain uncontactable.

The abductor could hide the children in countries with large rural areas. Most would remove their online presence on social media, said Ms Yoon, who was relating from cases she handled previously.

Jane said she has used all available legal means through the courts in Singapore and in Malaysia, where she suspects her former husband is hiding their son.

In December 2024, she obtained an order from a Malaysian court which states her former husband must surrender their son to her.

Mr Lim, who has handled cases under The Hague Convention, said: “Without knowing where her ex-husband is hiding, how is she or the authorities going to serve or enforce the court order?

“The frustration is you don’t even have any intel... You don’t even know where to start your search. It’s terrible.”

A few weeks after Jane’s son was taken out of Singapore, she received a text message from her former husband. She also managed to speak to her son briefly.

Since then, Jane has made numerous trips to Malaysia to sort out the paperwork with the police and courts there.

In the meantime, she has taken to social media to contact her former husband’s old friends and reach out to news outlets in Malaysia.

She has also hired a Malaysian lawyer and a private investigator to help with the search.

ST contacted the boy’s father via his mobile phone, and his Facebook and Instagram accounts, but there was no response.

A visit to the man’s family home in Singapore also proved futile.

At Jane’s home, there are many reminders of her son, from his colourful drawings and photos on the refrigerator door to his toys that fill the living room.

She remains hopeful, saying she draws strength from her supportive friends.

Jane said: “I miss hugging my son very much but I’m hopeful that one day, we’ll be able to bring him home.”

Asia News Network/The Straits Times